Every year, October rolls around. Even when I try to forget, my body remembers. Although I love the fall colors and the cooler temperatures, we have experienced too much loss and pain in October to skip into the month with excitement.
Yesterday I received this email from a dear friend: “Tomorrow is October. I know the next few months are going to be emotional & you’ll need an extra dose of courage & strength. I’ll be keeping an eye on you. I’ll be here for you if you need to just sit in silence (I can be quiet— I promise. ) or if you just need a hug. I’ve got you.”
Today is October 1st. I have experienced a lot of loss in October but none harder than the night our son collapsed while running. This year, I am walking into October with a friend who has chosen to link arms with me. Did you catch those words, “I’ll be keeping an eye on you.” “I’ve got you.” She didn’t try to fix it. There are no platitudes. It is a simple I see you. I am here for you.
We sometimes hesitate to mention someone’s loss for fear that we will remind them. Those who have lost someone have not forgotten. You are not reminding them that they have lost someone; you are reminding them that their someone mattered and you remember them too.
It is still October. The days ahead are still looming. The grief is still heavy.
It has been almost 13 years, and someone remembers.
And she didn’t just remember. She saw it coming and chose to walk into it with me.