Tag: school

Fear

Fear is paralyzing. It sneaks its way into our thoughts and then weaves itself into our very marrow until we are consumed by it; until it is the motive behind each and every decision we make. I hate it. I hate the way it makes me feel. I hate the way it has controlled me in the past. I am constantly seeking ways to fight it. 

There are many in the world who look for ways to cast a net of fear just so they can watch the panic that ensues. They feed off snatching joy and happiness from others. And they do this behind a veil of anonymity. 

To them, I say, “Not today. Today, I will not allow you to feed off of me.” 

The entire state of Arkansas has been targeted by someone wanting to cast this net. An unsubstantiated threat was leaked. Nearly every superintendent in the state has issued a statement. Parents are worried. Kids are scared. Teachers are trying to keep things as normal as possible while also mentally preparing for all types of scenarios.

The reality is, as a teacher, I am constantly aware of the possibility of a school shooting. It is something I think about on a regular basis. Not because I am allowing myself to fear it, but because I want to be prepared and ready to protect my kids. 

Today, I am going to school. And, I am going to create a lively exciting classroom environment where fear is not invited. 

But before I leave my house, know that I will pray for my school and my students and for those who are seeking to cast a shadow of fear over our campus. I will not let them win this battle.

Yes, I will be on alert, just like I am everyday. I will also continue to smile at everyone I meet as I make my way around campus. I will continue to offer words of encouragement to my students who are tired, who are overly critical of themselves, who need more confidence or who think they aren’t good enough. With every word I pray that I can push out some of that fear that some anonymous person wants to feed off of today. Not today. Not in my classroom.

First Week of School Tired

Y’all there is no tired like the first week of school tired. If you are a teacher, a student or a parent, you are probably exhausted! Getting back into routines after summer is no easy task. 

There is also no excitement like the first week of school excitement! It’s my favorite week of school! I have 124 students that I am getting to know and have already learned so many cool things about them! 

Each class has its own dynamic, its own personality. It’s like having children – you have to find that personality and figure out what works for each one! It’s exhilarating. Besides that, teenagers are just fun!

So, yesterday I gave instructions to my level 4 class for their first presentation. I’m stressing to them how much I want them to practice their presentation and not “memorize” it. I show them tricks that I have used in the past to help me remember what I want to say and then I do a sample presentation for them.

I should have thought this through! I am rattling off who I am, a little about my family and my hobbies when I get to the question about something I did this summer. I don’t want to make it anything huge. Not all students get to have exciting summer experiences. Some of them never leave town. So, I am thinking fast to come up with something and remembered that I did a lot of baking this summer. I told them I learned how to make pretty cookies that didn’t look like old, wrinkled faces.

I finish the presentation and ask for questions. This hand goes up and this student says, “We are going to need proof about those cookies, so you will need to make us some.” The entire class quickly chimes in and with that I have found the personality of this adorable group! This is going to be a fun class! And, I am going to have to be careful about what I say!

I am also amazed at how they can really make me think. On the first day of school, I asked students to complete some information about themselves. As part of that activity, they could ask a question about me. One of the questions I got from a student was, “What career would you have if you weren’t a teacher.” I thought about it and thought about it. 

I don’t know. 

I can’t imagine not being in education. I love teenagers. I walk into the same school building every morning and yet I have no idea what is going to happen from day-to-day. I don’t know what students are going to say, how they are going to feel, what has happened since the last time I saw them. 

Not being able to answer that question was so exciting for me! I am exactly where I need to be. 

Today is our fourth day of school. And to top it off, we have had a full moon this week (it’s a thing). I am exhausted and couldn’t be more excited about a school year. 

I have so many goals for the year. So many things that I want to teach them both about Spanish and about life. I will succeed at some, fail at others and forget a few. But, most of all, I want to feel this excitement all year long. And I know that I won’t because I am human. So, today, I will enjoy this feeling. I will praise God for days like today and continue to spend time with Him, so that when those difficult days come, I will be better equipped to face them knowing that we serve a God who is sovereign and will provide for all of our needs.

I am off to school to convince some students in my Spanish I classes, that they are not too cool to sing and march to the alphabet song. I should probably have more coffee!

I pray that you find some excitement today in whatever career path you have chosen and that you see God working all around you!

School Morning Chaos

Waking up people has never been my favorite thing to do. I want everyone to set their own alarms and wake up themselves. Unfortunately, it is something that I had to do for years. Our son was easy to wake-up. I could pretty much walk to his bedroom door and say, “Good morning, Joshua.” He would sit up, rub his sleepy eyes and say, “Good morning, mom.” Our daughter was a different story. She might grunt, but then she would roll over and go back to sleep. I would often have to wake her several times. She is not a morning person.

I remember running late, as usual, one morning. She wasn’t ready to leave for school, and I said, “Elizabeth, go brush your hair, brush your teeth and put on your shoes.” She looked at me with those big brown eyes, and said, “Can you make me a list?” I clicked them off with my fingers, “Hair, teeth, feet.” She counted them on her fingers and nodded at me. Two minutes later, I found her standing next to my bed, holding a hairbrush in one hand and petting the cat with the other. “Elizabeth Grace, what are you supposed to be doing?” She shrugged her shoulders at me, realized she had a brush in one hand and started brushing her hair. Mornings were quite the challenge. I wish that I could tell you I was patient with her. I was not.

Not long after that morning, we purchased a swing set for the backyard. My husband got it all put together late one evening. The next morning, I woke up both kiddos, and we started the morning circus. When it was time to leave for school, I could not find Elizabeth. I searched the entire house. Nothing. Finally, I thought to look outside. She was in the backyard, completely ready for school, swinging on that new swing set. If I had known, we would have gotten that girl a swing set years prior just to alleviate some of our morning stress.

This morning I will begin my 20th year in the classroom as an educator. Wow! It seems like I just started yesterday! The last couple of years have looked so different from years past. There won’t be any small children to dress, lunches to pack or chauffeuring to do. I will only be responsible for myself. It is bittersweet. I don’t miss the frustration of looking for lost socks or turning around and going back home because someone forgot something. I certainly don’t miss waking up little people. However, I do miss those sleepy good morning hugs, those adorable small faces rubbing the sleep from their eyes and those morning chats in the car on the way to school. Those chats were the best!

For all you sweet mommas who are not just getting yourselves ready in the morning, I know that it seems like an eternity from now. Trust me, tomorrow you will be in a new season. Cherish that sweet chaos. I know some mornings you might lose your temper. Cut yourself some slack. You are human. Some mornings you will run late. That is not what you will remember years from now. Don’t sweat it.

There are tons of strategies out there to help make morning routines easier. Some of them will work for your family, some will not. If you are so inclined, do the research and try out some of them. But don’t compare yourself to another mom and don’t try to force something just because it works for someone else. You are a smart momma, you are a good momma. God gave you those sweet babies. Trust yourself.

Even more importantly, spend some time in prayer for your babies and everyone they come in contact with on a daily basis. I Peter 5:8 tells us that satan “prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (NIV). There are so many things that we need to do for our children everyday but none more important than covering them in prayer.

And whatever you do, don’t give up! Those babies grow up and will amaze you! That sweet girl of ours still doesn’t love mornings, but she doesn’t throw things at people anymore. Success! She is also adulting well! That girl can get herself out of bed and to class on time! Somehow she even manages without coffee.

School is starting soon!

The start of a new school year is just around the corner! Some of you are jumping for joy and others are groaning with sadness. I feel you both! I am excited about fresh new beginnings, a routine, brainstorming with my colleagues and being with teenagers every day. I am a little sad that I will no longer be able to lounge around in my pj’s drinking my coffee until mid-morning while I decide what I am going to do for the day.

Someone asked me a few weeks ago how my summer was going. It has been one of the most relaxing I can remember. And then it dawned on me, this is the first summer in 22 years that I have not had a child at home. I have set my own schedule. I have chosen my own activities. It has been weird. It has been sad. It has been fun! 

I have already had the initial first-day-of school dream. I am sure there will be others. This one was crazy. By the way, I am a high school Spanish teacher. In the dream, my desk was in the hallway. It was already piled with papers to grade. I couldn’t figure out how to get into the grading program so I had no idea which level of Spanish I was teaching which hour. I knew that I didn’t have a first hour because the tardy bell rang and no one showed up. That meant I would definitely have second hour, but I had no idea how to prepare. Several coaches were hanging out around my desk talking to me. I couldn’t answer their questions. And, worst of all, I had forgotten to make the coffee.

Yes, even teachers still get the first day of school jitters. I have been doing this for 19 years, and I don’t think I have ever had a year that I didn’t struggle to fall asleep the night before school started! The first day of school is a big deal. 

I have 19 days before I head back. I still have a couple of rooms to de-clutter, a trip planned to see my grandma (we are celebrating her 90th birthday), some projects to complete and time carved out to spend with friends. 

I have 19 days to be in prayer. I hope that you will join me. 

  • For the administrators (both district and building) who are already working trying to fill positions that opened up last minute, finalize schedules, and prepare for the required in-service that teachers will be attending. 
  • For the technology department as they prep new equipment and try to keep up with the countless websites that need to be blocked to protect those precious minds that we are in charge of guiding. 
  • For the cafeteria managers and workers as they begin determining menus and ordering food. 
  • For the administrative assistants who wear a thousand different hats during the day and can juggle more tasks than is humanly possibly. 
  • For the counselors who are busy with paperwork and trying to stay on top of the latest research in mental health so they can be prepared for the vast needs of so many students. 
  • For the custodial staff who are preparing our buildings right now so that they will be ready when that first bell rings.
  • For the transportation department who maintain a fleet of buses and drive those precious kiddos to and from school. 
  • For the teachers as they create new activities, sit through in-service, prepare their classrooms and try to find ways to reach those who are so difficult to reach.

And, for the students. They are all coming with different needs, different perspectives, different socioeconomic statuses, different learning styles, different attitudes. Some make friends easily, some can dress cool without too much effort. Others are struggling to find a place where they fit and will be choosing paths that will set their course for many years. 

There are so many moving pieces in a school. So many variables due to the many personalities, beliefs and ideas of so many people working towards one goal. That 19 days doesn’t seem long enough! It’s a lot to pray over. 

For me, personally, I want to be a light that points others to Jesus. I want to be different and do the unexpected when it comes to showing grace, mercy and forgiveness. I want to be like Jesus. 

We are all human. We make mistakes as we try to educate and guide the youth in our charge. What an opportunity we have to show them how we can also apologize and learn from our mistakes. We will shape them. It is exciting and scary! It is a huge blessing and a huge responsibility. Please lift us up in prayer as we make thousands of decisions each day and try so diligently to make the right ones.