Tag: holidays

Grace for the Holidays

There are so many posts being shared right now about how to survive the holidays. They are all full of great tips, strategies, and ideas. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a one size fits all when it comes to walking through those tough days. So regardless of which idea you choose, allow yourself and those around you some grace. 

The first few years after Joshua died, our daughter was still home. For us, it was simple. Each year, we asked her where she wanted to wake up and how she wanted to celebrate. It helped us face the holidays a little easier knowing that she was where she was most comfortable.

When she moved out and got married, we had to figure out some new strategies. It is tough. The holidays are so much more challenging when someone is missing from the table. We typically had at least a plan A, B, and C. And more often than not, when we woke up the morning of, we went with a totally different plan. We could only do what we felt like we could handle. One of the best things that we did for one another is bring buckets and buckets of grace into the holiday season. Not just for each other, but also for ourselves.

The year that none of us felt like decorating, we didn’t. Grace. When we didn’t want to face the shopping crowds, we didn’t give as many gifts and most were ordered online. Grace. When we didn’t have the strength to take a family photo of just the three of us for Christmas cards, we didn’t. Grace. We accepted fewer invitations to holiday events. Grace. And, when one of us got peopled out, we made a quiet exit. Grace.

It became the gift that we gave each other. A much appreciated gift that was both given and received freely.

It is so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season. It is natural to want to continue the same traditions. It is also absolutely okay to change things if it makes getting through the holidays easier. After eight Christmases without Joshua, there are some traditions that we have returned to. There are others that will probably only remain in our memories. And, that’s okay too. Why, because grace.

“The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God’s people. Amen.” Revelation 22:21

The very last verse in God’s Holy Word. We have been extended a tremendous amount of grace. May we always offer that same grace to those around us, and maybe even a little more when what is supposed to be a joyful season is tinged with sadness and loss.

Hope

Hope. It’s such a simple word, yet carries a mountain of emotions. The slightest bit can help anyone turn the page on a difficult season and start a new chapter with exciting possibilities.

We met with our While We’re Waiting Support Group this week. One of the things we talked about is the hope we have of seeing our children again. Hope can be a little harder to grasp on to this time of the year. Everyday is tough. Holidays are a little more so. Everyone talks about the joy of the season. Stores are dressed in bright colors and playing festive songs. Everywhere we look are pictures of happy families gathering together to celebrate. 

It can be painful to those who are missing an important part of their family; those who aren’t able to feel the same joy as everyone around them.

How do we find hope when our hearts are hurting?

Romans 8:18 says, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”

When I first read this verse, I thought, “I don’t want to talk about that. I don’t want to minimize the pain of those who are hurting.” Yet the more I read that passage, the more hope I feel. While Paul isn’t specifically speaking about grief in this chapter of Romans, I think the message applies. The hurt, the pain, the sadness, the hole in our hearts will be nothing compared to the glory of Heaven. It hurts right now. It will hurt tomorrow. In some form, we will ache for those we have lost for the rest of our lives. 

The difference is the hope we cling to as the grief hits us.

If we continue reading, verse 24 says. “For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees?”

We don’t hope for the things that we already have. However, we enjoy what we have while we hope for what is to come. 

My favorite part of this chapter and the premise behind While We’re Waiting is in verse 25.. “But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.”

Eagerly.

That doesn’t mean we put on a happy face and fake it through all of the holiday celebrations. It doesn’t mean that we accept every invitation to attend every event. It doesn’t even mean that we continue every single tradition from past holidays.

After losing someone special, life is hard. The hope of what is to come should help us do more than just muddle through the days. It should give us a reason to yearn for eternity. To give it our all while we are here, knowing that God has something amazing waiting for us. 

The home that we have in Heaven is beyond anything our minds can fathom. I believe once we lay eyes on our Savior and the glory of eternity is revealed, the heartbreak, the pain, the difficulties of this earth, will all be forgotten. For what we are facing right now is nothing compared to the joy that is coming.