depression – With Eyes on the Cross

In the previous post, we addressed some of the challenges of grief. Today, let’s start talking about specific steps we can take to move forward. What does that look like?

Moving FORWARD with grief requires us to be intentional. It a choice that we have to make. In the beginning that choice has to be made multiple times a day, sometimes hourly. As time passes, it is a choice that has to be made less and less often.

Today’s step is not an easy one. I pray that you will hear me out. I am not a perfect example of this. God doesn’t ask us to be perfect. He asks us to trust Him and to lean on Him when life is hard. So where do we start?

F – FIGHT!

Fight the urge to live in a constant state of sadness and depression.

Satan is a formidable opponent. He seems to know the exact lies to whisper in our minds to prevent us from healing and moving forward. “What if” you had done this? “Why didn’t” you do that? He rejoices when we are too burdened by our sadness to look to the cross and to continue to live with hope. I don’t want to give him that pleasure.

First, I don’t think it honors my son or the life he lived. Joshua didn’t allow his heart condition to keep him from living hard. He did so much in 16 years. He desired to show people the way to Jesus. It was important to him. I can’t hide away just because life is tough. Jesus didn’t. He knew He was headed to an agonizing death and still continued on the path serving others and teaching about our Father.

More importantly, it doesn’t honor God. Every day is a chance to use our lives and our circumstances to lead others to Jesus. To show them His faithfulness. 1 Corinthians 10:31 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” This passage says “whatever you do.” For many of us, we are learning to live with the heavy burden of grief. Let’s grieve to honor and glorify God.

Please do not misunderstand. I am not saying that we should paste on a smile and pretend like life is grand. That will definitely not lead people to Jesus. What I am trying to say is that It is okay to vacation in sadness. It is not okay to build a permanent residence there. God is not honored when we grieve without hope.

For the first few months after Joshua’s death, my daughter and I realized that if we could just have one day here and there to stay home, we could make it through the other school days a little easier. We would choose a day and put it on the calendar. We scheduled time off. Time that we could mourn. Those days were crucial in our healing. Knowing that we had a day coming also helped us get through the days leading up to it.

Philippians 3:14 says, “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (NIV)

Fight the urge to live in a constant state of depression and press on. What can you do that lifts you up? Listen to music, read a book that is comforting, do something you enjoy. Don’t let satan steal your joy. Grieve. Grieve with hope.

How have you fought the urge to build a permanent home in your sadness? Please share with us! What helps you might also help someone else!

June is a difficult month for our family. It starts with mine and my husband’s wedding anniversary, a little more than a week later it’s our son’s birthday, a few days after that Father’s Day and then a week later the anniversary of my mom’s death.

Just when we think the end is in sight, the 4th of July hits. My husband and our son’s favorite holiday. And then, our daughter’s birthday. For five years now, we have had to find ways to get through those days without our sweet boy.

So many people on this planet are dealing with difficult circumstances. This morning I was texting with a friend who has a chronic illness. I have no idea what that is like. I can’t imagine that she wakes up joyful wanting to jump out of the bed and skip through the house. She confessed that she was thinking about taking a nap. I told her that I was headed out for a run. Her response, “You’re a better woman than I am.”

I love my friend! She is wrong. I am not a better woman. I think we are both doing what we need to do to tackle our struggles and move forward.

Life isn’t easy and there are many things that can cause our days to be a real struggle. We all deal with depression to some degree. In fact, sometimes I take a little vacation there and allow the sorrow to wash over me. However, I don’t want to build my home there.

To be honest, I did let myself take a little vacation there in June. I hardly ran the entire month. Mostly because my body was too tired from grieving. I simply didn’t have the energy, and I needed to rest. My body needed the rest, just like my friend’s body needed the rest this morning.

Depression is a tricky thing. There are days when we have to pick ourselves up by our bootstraps and push our body to the limits. And there are other days that we can rest and allow ourselves to face the sadness head-on. However we handle it, we have to keep our eyes on the cross constantly reminding ourselves of truths from God’s word.

I am grateful for the example that Elijah sets for us in 1 Kings 19. He was running from Jezebel because she was trying to kill him. Verse 3 tells us that he “ran for his life.” He was exhausted when he finally found his way into the desert, sat down under a broom tree, and prayed to die. Based on his words to God in verse 4, “I have had enough, Lord,” I would imagine his exhaustion was more than physical. He was also emotionally and mentally worn out.

So, he took a nap. Sometime later, an angel woke him and gave him some food and then he went to sleep again. A little while later, the angel woke him again and gave him more food. Then he was ready to move forward. There is a great lesson for us in this story.

I had done the resting. This morning, I knew that my body needed to exercise while my friend’s body needed to rest. Neither one of us is doing a better job of tackling depression. We are both doing exactly what we need.

How about you? Do you need to rest today or push yourself a little bit to get over that hump? Whatever the right thing is for you, I pray that you will do it confidently with your eyes on the cross intentionally moving forward.

Tag: depression

Moving F.O.R.W.A.R.D. with Grief (Part 2)

Tackling Depression