As Iron Sharpens Iron

This has been a tough semester for so many reasons. The one that has weighed on my heart the most is the lack of respect that I have observed in the hallways, in the classrooms, and on social media. I love teenagers. I love being at school. I love saying something corny or acting weird and crazy to get them to smile. I love asking them questions and learning from them. It has been tough to be on the receiving end of disrespectful body language, tone, and words. I often find myself just wanting to give up, to quit trying because it seems like no amount of effort makes a difference.

Yesterday, I found renewed resolve. I had a negative interaction with a student. It pricks my heart every time. If he just knew how much I already like him, even though I don’t know him. If he just knew how much I want to keep him safe, how much I want him to succeed. I just wish he knew. Maybe then, he would have seen me with different eyes. Maybe then he would have responded differently.

But he doesn’t know me, and he didn’t respond with respect, and so then we had a situation that had to be handled. I’m so grateful there was someone nearby who did know him, someone that he could have a conversation with, someone he trusted, someone he felt comfortable speaking to openly. 

This is where I found the renewed resolve – he came to me and apologized. He seemed to be as downtrodden about what happened as I did. I can’t imagine that he is happy living in a world with so much disrespect either. I can’t imagine that he enjoys the negativity either.

I know that his disrespect was not about me. He was hurting, and I was requiring him to follow rules that just seemed unimportant to him. And he reacted with the behaviors that have been modeled for him for years. Unfortunately, we are living in a society bombarded with displays of disrespect – our politicians, our comedians, our news anchors, our TV shows, our Tik Tok challenges, even our music is filled with hate-fueled words and actions. 

There is so much truth to the Proverb. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Every time we see disrespectful behavior or hate-filled words, we become a little more sharpened, ready to lash out at the next person who wants us to do something we don’t want to do. 

So, what can we do? We can turn the tide. We can change the example that is being modeled. I can’t fix social media or the adults in the world who are choosing not to set a good example. But, I can work in my circle of influence. Instead of sharpening those around me in a negative way, I can sharpen them in a positive way. Because I believe that proverb works both ways – I am sharpened by whatever is around me, whether positive or negative. 

Here’s the difficult part – we don’t change things overnight. Just as it took a lot of small influences over time to shape our society in such a negative way, it will take a lot of influences over time for it to become different. So, why the new resolve. Because the next generation deserves better. The young man I had the negative interaction with yesterday deserves to see people who are kinder and more compassionate. 

So, I will keep trying. Because when I saw the saddened, discouraged eyes of that young man yesterday, it gave me the drive to keep going, to not give up. I want the next generation to have a better place to live. A community they are proud of, a community that supports and encourages one another.

I will not quit modeling respect, encouragement, and support to everyone around me.I am praying that I run into this young man again and again the rest of the school year. I am praying that one day, those discouraged eyes become bright with joy and excitement! And, oh how I hope that I get to see it!

Update: This situation happened last semester, and I wrote this the morning after this interaction. After finishing it, I felt this nudge to share it with him. I wanted him to know my heart. So, I found him that morning and gave him a copy. A few minutes later, he came to my office and asked if he could hug me. I’m so grateful that I get to see him frequently, and we have great conversations about his goals and the changes he is making in his life. His eyes are brighter, his smile comes more frequently, and he is always respectful to me. Teenagers are amazing! I am sharing this today with his permission. If you know a teenager who is struggling, share your heart with them. It may be just the thing to start turning the tide.