God Really Is Eternally Faithful

Seven years ago today, Joshua went out for a run. Something he had done hundreds of times. Only this time, he didn’t come back home to us. Despite the best efforts of two ICU nurses, firefighters, paramedics, and speciality doctors at Children’s Hospital, three days later, we said, “See you later,” and sent him to Heaven.

I have learned so many lessons in the last seven years, with the greatest one being that grief stands for God Really Is Eternally Faithful. I wish that I could tell you that I came up with that. I didn’t. I was desperately trying to turn the word grief into an acronym. I needed to associate it with something more comforting, something that I could cling to. I was texting a friend, sharing my thoughts with her, but nothing fit, when she replied with the above message. It is a simple phrase with so much truth.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

Not only does scripture tell us that God is faithful, we have so many examples of His faithfulness, yet we often don’t fully understand the extent of that faithfulness until we experience it for ourselves. I have experienced it over and over the last seven years. God has been so faithful to us as we have walked a painful journey. 

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

In the beginning, the weight of grief is all-consuming. It took every ounce of energy to simply get out of bed and get dressed. God was faithful during those times. Some days He provided through friends and family, some days He provided with an extra measure of strength. I have learned that even though I will always carry the weight of grief, it has become a much lighter burden. 

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

For the last seven years, God has walked every step with us. He has caught every tear we have shed. He has felt every stabbing pain of sadness. And, while grief can be very lonely, I have learned that I am never alone. God is always with me. 

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. Matthew 6:20

Since Joshua moved away to Heaven, I am more focused on eternity. I have a treasure stored up in Heaven, and one day we will be reunited. I sing “This world is not my home, I am just passing through,” with a completely different mindset. 

In the early days of my grief, I couldn’t see any possible way that God could bring anything good out of our tragedy. I didn’t see any possible way that He could heal the ache in my heart. He did both. If you are struggling to see how God is working in your life, ask Him to open your eyes to His goodness so you can see all that He is doing. And ask Him to open your heart to trust Him to take care of you.

There are so many other things that I have learned about grief. There is no timeline for it. We each grieve differently and for different periods of time. Grief has changed me. I am not the same woman that I was when I woke up the morning of October 29, 2013. I know that I will think about Joshua every single day. I know that I will miss him every single day until I see him again. I know that I could live another 30 or 40 years and face more loss and heartache. I also know that God Really Is Eternally Faithful, and regardless of what happens on this earth, He will be with me each step of the way.