Disappointment is hard and hits us all at different times in life: a test that we prepared for but not the grade we wanted, a job we interviewed for and didn’t get, a relationship that didn’t work out, a plan that didn’t come together the way we envisioned, a lingering illness or one that can’t be cured.
We can’t avoid disappointment. It’s a part of life. How do we grab it, learn from it and keep moving forward with perseverance and strength?
Don’t you love it when you are struggling with disappointment in life and someone quotes Romans 8:28 to you? “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”
While it is true that all things work together for good, I think there are a couple of things we should keep in mind before throwing out this scripture. First, is it really the right time? Probably not. If someone is discouraged and can’t see how things are going to work out yet, this is not the time to quote this scripture. Often, when people are sharing their struggles, they just need to hear someone say, “Wow, that’s tough,” or “I am so sorry that you are facing that right now.”
Second, we also have to understand that our perspective is very different from God’s. God has an eternal perspective. He is not so much concerned with our comfort on this earth as He is with our eternal salvation. What we think is good for us and what God knows is good for us will often not mean the same outcome.
Whatever the disappointment is, there is a reason for it – something I still need to learn or a reason I need to wait. I have often been disappointed and later realized that God’s hand of protection was definitely over me when I didn’t get what I thought I really wanted. There are other disappointments that I still don’t understand. How do we continue to serve God when we are wrestling with Him over our disappointments?
Scripture is full of people who faced disappointment and yet continued to live a life of service to God. In 2 Corinthians 12:7-9, Paul speaks of the thorn in the flesh that he pleaded with God to remove. God didn’t. Paul was faithful.
Sarah was 90 years old before she gave birth to Isaac. Imagine the disappointment she faced month after month, year after year. She is not the only one – Rebekah, Rachel, Hannah and Elizabeth also faced the same disappointment.
I think one of the most important steps in dealing with disappointment is to acknowledge it. I sit with my disappointment for awhile. I wallow in it. I allow myself to feel sad, angry and frustrated. I let it sink into my body. I don’t try to push it aside or pretend that I don’t feel it. I wrap myself in all of the emotions that come with disappointment. I try not to stay here too long. I don’t want to begin to feel bitterness and defeat.
Then, it is important that we share it with God. I lay it all at His feet: my hurting heart, my sadness, my frustrations over trying and trying with no results. I remind Him of promises in scripture. I hold nothing back. I ask Him why. I open my heart and soul to Him.
Finally, we have to let go of it. I lace up my shoes and go for a run. I run until I can’t run anymore. I exert as much energy as possible to let go of as much anger and frustration as I can. And, I listen. I listen for scriptures that God might place on my heart. I listen for songs that remind me of who God is. And, I thank God for all of the blessings that I enjoy each and every day.
It is fascinating to me how thanking God for my blessings can really impact my attitude. While I might still wish for a different outcome, I can also see how much I have to be grateful for in this life.
Most importantly, once I have faced it and let go of it, I have to choose whether or not I am going to continue to trust God and serve Him wholeheartedly. I can’t skip this last step. It’s important that I acknowledge who God is and make the conscious decision to trust Him and continue to serve Him on whatever path He puts me.
David knew about disappointment. He also knew about the importance of trusting God. He gives us some great words of wisdom in Psalm 40:1-3.
1 I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him.
David waited patiently for the Lord. That doesn’t mean that he sat around doing nothing waiting for God to resolve the issue. While he waited, David continued to serve God. He continued to praise Him, and he continued to trust Him. He knew that God was listening and that when the timing was right, God would provide the way.
What are some strategies that help you deal with disappointment?
With Eyes on the Cross 