R – REST
Before Joshua died, anytime we sat down to watch TV, I would crochet. If I weren’t constantly doing two or three things at the same time, I felt like I was wasting time or being lazy. After Joshua died, I didn’t have the energy to hold the crochet hook or the yarn. I remember feeling so frustrated with myself. It’s not like it takes that much energy to crochet, just pick up the yarn. But my body couldn’t bear the thought of doing one more thing.
Grief fatigue is a real thing. According to several internet sources, the average person makes somewhere around 35,000 decisions. A person who is grieving has to focus so much harder to make even the simplest of decisions. Everything is compounded by the weight of sadness. Most days, I felt like I was lugging around an extra hundred pounds on each arm and each leg. Imagine standing at the refrigerator holding on to 400 pounds and trying to decide what to make for dinner. Then, imagine trying to move around the kitchen with that same 400 pounds chained to you while you try to cook.
Is it interesting to you how we can know a story from scripture and not think much of it until we can relate it to our own lives? I had heard the story of Elijah and the broom tree growing up, but it didn’t mean much to me until I experienced sheer exhaustion, like I have never experienced before.
In 1 Kings 19, he is running for his life. He goes into the wilderness, sits down under a broom tree and begs God to take his life. He is afraid, tired, worn out from living. The words describe it well enough, but those who have felt that type of exhaustion read them differently. They relate to what Elijah is feeling.
This is my favorite part. He lays down and falls asleep. Sometime later, an angel wakes him and gives him food and water. Then, Elijah goes back to sleep. After another nap, he is able to get up and move on.
Never underestimate the power of rest.
Grief is hard on the body. Those who are grieving need more rest. They aren’t being lazy or wasting time. The burden they are carrying is sucking an incredible amount of energy from them. The onslaught of emotions is relentless making even the simplest of tasks exhausting.
I have always been terrible about packing my schedule. I run from one event to another. In the past six years, I have learned that it is okay to say no to things. I have become a little more selective about what I choose to put on my calendar, and I make sure that I am allowing myself enough time down time.
How can we follow Elijah’s example? Resting doesn’t always mean sleeping. It can also be sitting on the swing outside or sitting with your eyes closed for a bit. Sometimes resting is reading a book or spending a few extra minutes in your car before going into work. Or just sitting on the sofa and listening to God. The important thing is that we are giving ourselves permission to rest our bodies and our minds as we heal.
How do you find rest?
With Eyes on the Cross 