In the previous post, we addressed some of the challenges of grief. Today, let’s start talking about specific steps we can take to move forward. What does that look like?
Moving FORWARD with grief requires us to be intentional. It a choice that we have to make. In the beginning that choice has to be made multiple times a day, sometimes hourly. As time passes, it is a choice that has to be made less and less often.
Today’s step is not an easy one. I pray that you will hear me out. I am not a perfect example of this. God doesn’t ask us to be perfect. He asks us to trust Him and to lean on Him when life is hard. So where do we start?
F – FIGHT!
Fight the urge to live in a constant state of sadness and depression.
Satan is a formidable opponent. He seems to know the exact lies to whisper in our minds to prevent us from healing and moving forward. “What if” you had done this? “Why didn’t” you do that? He rejoices when we are too burdened by our sadness to look to the cross and to continue to live with hope. I don’t want to give him that pleasure.
First, I don’t think it honors my son or the life he lived. Joshua didn’t allow his heart condition to keep him from living hard. He did so much in 16 years. He desired to show people the way to Jesus. It was important to him. I can’t hide away just because life is tough. Jesus didn’t. He knew He was headed to an agonizing death and still continued on the path serving others and teaching about our Father.
More importantly, it doesn’t honor God. Every day is a chance to use our lives and our circumstances to lead others to Jesus. To show them His faithfulness. 1 Corinthians 10:31 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” This passage says “whatever you do.” For many of us, we are learning to live with the heavy burden of grief. Let’s grieve to honor and glorify God.
Please do not misunderstand. I am not saying that we should paste on a smile and pretend like life is grand. That will definitely not lead people to Jesus. What I am trying to say is that It is okay to vacation in sadness. It is not okay to build a permanent residence there. God is not honored when we grieve without hope.
For the first few months after Joshua’s death, my daughter and I realized that if we could just have one day here and there to stay home, we could make it through the other school days a little easier. We would choose a day and put it on the calendar. We scheduled time off. Time that we could mourn. Those days were crucial in our healing. Knowing that we had a day coming also helped us get through the days leading up to it.
Philippians 3:14 says, “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (NIV)
Fight the urge to live in a constant state of depression and press on. What can you do that lifts you up? Listen to music, read a book that is comforting, do something you enjoy. Don’t let satan steal your joy. Grieve. Grieve with hope.
How have you fought the urge to build a permanent home in your sadness? Please share with us! What helps you might also help someone else!
With Eyes on the Cross 