Fear

Fear is paralyzing. It sneaks its way into our thoughts and then weaves itself into our very marrow until we are consumed by it; until it is the motive behind each and every decision we make. I hate it. I hate the way it makes me feel. I hate the way it has controlled me in the past. I am constantly seeking ways to fight it. 

There are many in the world who look for ways to cast a net of fear just so they can watch the panic that ensues. They feed off snatching joy and happiness from others. And they do this behind a veil of anonymity. 

To them, I say, “Not today. Today, I will not allow you to feed off of me.” 

The entire state of Arkansas has been targeted by someone wanting to cast this net. An unsubstantiated threat was leaked. Nearly every superintendent in the state has issued a statement. Parents are worried. Kids are scared. Teachers are trying to keep things as normal as possible while also mentally preparing for all types of scenarios.

The reality is, as a teacher, I am constantly aware of the possibility of a school shooting. It is something I think about on a regular basis. Not because I am allowing myself to fear it, but because I want to be prepared and ready to protect my kids. 

Today, I am going to school. And, I am going to create a lively exciting classroom environment where fear is not invited. 

But before I leave my house, know that I will pray for my school and my students and for those who are seeking to cast a shadow of fear over our campus. I will not let them win this battle.

Yes, I will be on alert, just like I am everyday. I will also continue to smile at everyone I meet as I make my way around campus. I will continue to offer words of encouragement to my students who are tired, who are overly critical of themselves, who need more confidence or who think they aren’t good enough. With every word I pray that I can push out some of that fear that some anonymous person wants to feed off of today. Not today. Not in my classroom.